Spring time…It’s on it’s way…The season when life -as I knew back then, was slowly coming back to life itself. The days were getting longer and warmer and more pleasant, the sky was getting bluer than ever and the dry leaves were slowly getting replaced by the lush green ones.
So yeah, on one of those fine spring mornings I was cleaning
up my room and arranging books and stuffs to be discarded in cardboard boxes,
when I came across this diary. Wiping the dust off, I took it out in the warm
sunshine and treaded my hands slowly on it’s cover. I remembered; this was one
of those many things I couldn’t find after my family moved in here to Kanpur.
Shifting to a new place and getting settled does take time
and lots of things get misplaced, and I knew that, but all the same I was happy
and relieved to find it. I opened it, to find carefully stuck between the now
yellow pages some of my old photographs when I was a kid, some of my childhood
drawings-faded and filled with smudges, some more photographs of my high school
days, some contact numbers, some colorful study notes, some greeting cards,
letters sent to me on my birthdays…
Flipping through the pages-accompanied by an exquisite smell
only found in really old books brought a rare sense of delight and
nostalgia, but not until had I gone through the last page did a sudden,
unprecedented gust of wind blow away one letter out into the garden.
I rushed out into the garden and caught hold of it, afraid of
letting it go, lest it fly away far off. I opened the envelope, and took out
the letter, and a few photographs that were with it. I glanced at the contents
of the letter and read those few lines written on it with that beautiful
handwriting…That same handwriting I had known for so many years…
And then, as if struck by a lightning bolt- it all hit me by
a flash. I reread the letter, saw the same handwriting I was so familiar with,
and that name I could never, ever forget.
And those were not just some lines- they spoke about the pain
and anguish that led them to be here on this letter, but I, I was not able to
understand it when this letter reached me
That, forever was perhaps, not in
our destiny. . .
It’s like I’m back in time- caught in a thought spiral, again…
That fine spring day when I was walking on the way back to
home after my extra classes. Plugging in my earphones and getting immersed in a
song put on repeat, I kept going – giving company to the otherwise quiet and
solitary path, which was now covered by maple leaves.
And that’s when I had stopped…
Coz somebody had blocked my way with a bicycle. I looked up
and there you were, giving an ever so gentle smile like the sunshine. That one
day back in spring, when our lives brought the two of us together. And all of a
sudden, you had said – “It's such a lovely day, right? Let’s walk together!!”
I was taken aback as this was quite unexpected, and I had told
you not to bother about me. But you had given me a sullen look, got down from
your bicycle and accompanied me nevertheless. A couple of times, we had glanced at
each other- remarking how beautiful the day was- the golden sunshine bearing
down upon us and the uneven gravel path decorated by the dry leaves scattered
upon it.
Turned out both of us were definitely not good at
conversations, but I wasn’t alone at least. And I knew something like
that would happen, since we never talked much, but it didn’t matter at all,
because we were treading on the same path together and admiring about the same
weather- which was more than I could ask for. And I noticed, your eyes seemed to
sparkle and glisten all the time. In that moment, every step we took, everything
I saw and heard, everything I felt – the world around me took on colors in a
way I never thought it could.
And I was glad you had refused and accompanied me that spring
day, treading on the same path together and admiring the weather with me. It
really meant a lot…
We never really talked, but that didn’t matter much, right?
There really are some things that get across, even without saying them out
loud. Anybody can talk to you, but having someone who perceives the world the
same way you do – that is something special and prized. Finding wonders in the
everyday things around us, even without talking much, and enjoying every
trivial moment we had spent together – it’s as if I’m watching some movie scenes on
repeat…
And the numerous nights we used to hit the roads at top speed
with our bicycles and cameras in hand, pursuing the stars and the moon with no
idea where we were headed to - it was just us and our bicycles chasing them
with all our might, trying to capture the star-studded sky. Wasn’t it
wonderful, the moon shining down upon us, watching the stars twinkle and
glitter like diamonds against the rich silver-blue of the night sky – just like
the way your eyes sparkled?
And those endless hours spent at the local library, going
through the multitude of novels and picking out our favorite ones, sipping a
cup of coffee and reading them, scribbling notes and inspiring lines- what
about them?
Sitting on the swing, watching the sun dip quietly across the
riverside, feeling the warm spring air, listening to the distant sounds of the
city – did you forget those moments we spent together?
Do you think you can just FORGET? Is it really that easy?
No way!! I can never forget about us – those memories are
precious to me, and I hope they are for you too…You stopped my way that fine
spring day, and gave me a little reason to be happy…How can I ever forget?
And just like that gust of wind that tried to blow the letter, just like how unexpectedly you had come into my life – another gust of wind blows, carrying the fallen dry leaves along with itself and snapping me back to reality.
I close my eyes and picture you on your bicycle, waiting in the distance. I open them, and find that the wind has gone- just the way you had quietly left, and has taken all the fallen leaves with itself- but there’s no you. I reach out my hands in the open, walking a few steps ahead - asking you to come back and accompany me, but I realize you are not here by my side.
But the letter’s still there with me, firmly held. I remember
the last thing you told me while we were watching the sunset near the
riverside. You had given me this letter and before I could say something, I
noticed that your eyes had lost the sparkle I was so familiar with, and I had
frozen, coz I felt something was not right. Tears had begun welling up on your
eyes, and you had told
“You should better be going back…It’s gonna
rain…Take care…”
The sky was clear enough and there was no way it could rain.
And when I looked towards you, you had already started running away. I tried to
catch up but you didn’t stop for a second, you just took your bicycle and sped
away, not looking back even once or listening to my shouts…
The sunshine has now lost it’s warmth. In fact, it’s even
fading away. The once scattered leaves enveloping the green grass are now gone.
I clench the letter in my hands- afraid to let
it go. I look up at the fading pink sky, fighting off tears of my own and I
finally get what she meant.
“Yeah, you were right. It’s beginning to rain, and
I should get back…”
